How long?

[CC LYDA]

How long can a person go thru all these ups and downs? One day, I am ok and the next I think about something Randy and I did together and what we wanted to do, like going back to Hawaii, retire and go anywhere we wanted to, make love on the beach, whatever it is, we wanted to do it, but now I will never have anymore memories, see, from one extreme to another, I feel like this merry go round will never end, I look at other men and they are ok but I can't imagine myself with any of them, at all, ever, My sister says it's because of the prozac I am on, I need something stronger, I say because I miss Randy so bad, I just want to be with him again, the cruise we went on mostly I cried because he wasn't there with me and he should have been. When does it ever stop? Thanks for letting me vent. CC

[warren]

Dear Ms Lyda,

I really dont know how to start these, just please bare with me. First you have to learn how to let go. This is the important and the hardest part. And time will tell when you're going to move on. Its a long process, just bare with it. Don t push yourself on your emotions, make yourself busy. Do something that makes you happy. Different people, different ways but still one process to go through.

Its hard but you have a life. Embrace your memories, love, pain. We are human, we're unique. We can adjust in many ways, even in our emotions. Sacrifice is a part of LOVE.

I just hope you will learn to go back in your normal state of life, as you alone. As you appreciate your life. Enjoy life!

[Tonya Jones]

I lost my husband in December 2006, but I know exactly where he is; heaven. Do you believe the word of God? Do you believe that God desires for you to not go on with your life? God has a plan and sometimes that plan is not very evident to us. We must stand on his word and believe that he loves, cares, and comforts us continually. If you believe that Randy is in heaven you must know that he is in a better place and you must continue on not for him but for the truth that this is not our eternal home. We all have a date to be with the Lord. Until then, we must move out in faith and live. Jesus said; I come that you may have life, and that life more abundantly; John 10:10. Stay encouraged. Check out the encouraging words on: www.godswordspoken.com
God Bless I will pray for you
Minister Tonya Jones

[Elizabeth N]

CC - I understand this. I lost my mother in 2003 to a horrible accident. We were both being treated for cancer at the time. In 2006 my father died. 3 months later my husband was murdered. It is now 2008 and I am still struggling with everything. I am really stuck. My therapist, who deals specifically with grief, loss and trauma says that I am stuck, and I know that she is right. Although I am healing, it is very slow, and I am dealing with PTSD because of the violence of two of the situations.

If you feel that you need to talk to someone, by all means go to a counselor, or therapist. You may be exactly where you should be on your grieving journey. But it is always helpful to talk to someone to guide you through your grief.

Some people like me get stuck. But there is no particular time line for grief. There is no such thing as 'okay, it's a year, you should be over this by now'. We all heal in our own way and time. Grief often comes in surges, and feels like a wave crashing over you. Give yourself time to heal, and go talk to someone.

I wish you the best. I know that working with the therapist is helping me. I am starting, slowly, to get unstuck. I have a lifetime of some unhealthy coping patterns to undo - and I am.

Treat yourself kindly.

[Serena Ellis]

First, I m so sorry for your loss and you are going through really tough time. I know you loved your Randy very much and you can't forget him. But now, if you feel that you like another person then I think you should accept him. Because life is very long and tough without husband.
I know you are still grieved from your husband and its difficult decision for you. You can thinking for some time and take advice from your friends. I pray to God for your future life.
((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

condolence message

[debby]

when grief comes people must face it and relax them after some time because it may effect the metabolic reactions of their bodies. sympathy words