I am glad I got this invitation

[nancy]

My parents died 2 years apart. I did very bad mentally when my father passed suddenly. My mother, I was sure would be around for a long time, then got the cancer diagnoses. She passed in about 6 weeks. I tried to "pretend" she didnt die and tried to be a better "trooper" about it. but I miss them so badly, I cant hardly stand it sometimes.. I suppose I am getting "use" to it, but still havent found my peace with their passing. I even avoided talking to hospice or any grief counseling..That was part of my denial.. Thanks for listening..

[warren]

It's a normal process of griefing. In LOVE, there is a part you have to let it go, just try to do it. Eventhough its very hard. They are not at peace also when they see you that way. I just hope you will see your peace soon.

[Sam Oliver]

Nancy,

Have you tried journaling? Many grievers will do this in place of counseling. You can journal everything you want to remember of your parents. I have a book I will mail to you if you will email me for the request of it on [e-mail] The journal is "God a Logs on Living and Dying"

Sam Oliver

[Dr. Cheryl Durham]

Dear Nancy,

I will be praying for your healing. A loss like this has to be reframed to be acceptable...God made us in His image and the feeling of loss has a lot to do with knowing "things should never have been this way"...God grieves with us, as He knows that it was never His intention that people die. That's why He sent Jesus.

It would be good for you to find someone, by email or by phone or in person, who could help you reframe your thinking as you grow through this experience. Their insight at specific times can help you heal faster. While you will never forget the pain of losing your parents, it does lessen over time.

If I can be an ear for you, email me...I'd be happy to help. Grief is unique to everyone, and can help us grow as well.

[nancy]

Thank you so much for your offer to be an ear for me to talk to. Also Thank you Mr. Oliver for offering the journal..
What bothers me very much also about my mothers passing is.. The Dr. had her take a breast x-ray, she did and there was a mass in her breast.. The Dr. either didnt notice or forgot, or what ever happened I dont know.. They just treated her for a pulled muscle for 6 months.. She went back to the Dr. 5 or 6 times because it just was not healing. Then he sent her for another x-ray on my mothers insistance. Her lungs were full of cancer, and it spread around her body.. She was only 72, very young at heart and didnt even look her age.. We all thought she would be around for a long time.. And she maybe could have been, if her Dr. did something about the small mass in her breast in the beginning.. She always did the right thing for her health, visited the Dr. regualry and did as he advised all her life..
Nancy

[Dr. Cheryl Durham]

Sounds like the Doctor may have been negligent and that is a hard pill to swallow. What is your view on God and life after death? How do you see your relationship with your mother? Is she gone for good? or will you see her later? How you view that can help or hinder your healing.

[nancy]

I am about 90% believing and 10% doubting. I read Daily Bread, Bed Time Blessings, Bible, A case for Christ, etc.. I pray alot also.
Then there is a part of me who is afraid maybe the bible was made by man to "civilize or control people or to help people feel better about loosing their loved ones..
I wish I could see with my own eyes the stories I hear. Example: I have heard people on their death beds suddenly talking to deceased loved ones saying things like "what are you doing here" or something that would help me know there is an afterlife.
Sometimes I get angry because I think God is playing some kind of a game with us, too much testing our faith from a book (Bible) written so long ago. Letting the Devil do terrible things just to see how much we can take..
I am reading a book right now called "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb.. Im half way through and so far this guy and his wife have been through hell, the wofe was at Columbine and is mentally destroyed from it.. Im hoping the book gets better because so far I see torture and I am hoping God steps in, but he hasnt so far..
There is a priest I watch on TV when ever I can, his name is Father Croppy, he is making more sense to me and helping me believe, which is good.

[Roe]

So sorry. I feel your pain. Possibly if you learned more about GRIEF WORTHY, you may start to heal and feel better. You can contact me @ [e-mail]. It is through sharing that we really begin to heal. This really helped me tremedously. It helps you keep them alive, tell their story and to come to peace with all of it. Not forget them. Hope to hear from you.

[Serena Ellis]

Nancy, I understand your feelings and I feel so sorry for your parents. Parents are important for children and life is so difficult without them. I lost my uncle 3years ago and its really shocked me. If you want to grieving then grief counseling is the best way and its normal. I pray to God, may your parents rest in peace.

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