Hospice
Seven years?
I can say truly that for me grieving my darling husband, something I thought was endless, truly began to change color slightly in the sixth year after his death.
And by year seven, his loss had become "composted" somehow... made part of me.
The so-called stages of grief, the prognostications of how long it takes, or, worse, "should" take, seem to me such a violent disservice to the process, so one-of-a-kind, so universal.
That being said, I wonder about the seven.
Recently I read that every single cell in the body turns over, dies and is replaced, in a seven year period, so that each seven years we are literally, physically, not the same person we were. I don't know if this is true or not, but if so, it would make sense to me, for during those seven years after he died (although the frequency of grief attacks lessened over that time), the loss felt almost cellular.
Too, my friends who practice astrology tell me that there is a seven-year Saturn cycle. Saturn, metaphorically, symbolizes a process of learning through restriction; as the planet is "ringed" and contained, so the image goes, so we are sometimes bound, encircled by chains, of time, loss, restriction. (By contrast, Jupiter symbolizes learning through joy and growth, not restriction.)
And of course there's the apocryphal "seven year itch."
So is there something about seven years, bearing in mind the generalizations about grief and "how long it takes" are generally odious?
At any rate, I know seven was a substantive pivot point; like the winter solstice, in my heart I began moving back towards the light again.
And by year seven, his loss had become "composted" somehow... made part of me.
The so-called stages of grief, the prognostications of how long it takes, or, worse, "should" take, seem to me such a violent disservice to the process, so one-of-a-kind, so universal.
That being said, I wonder about the seven.
Recently I read that every single cell in the body turns over, dies and is replaced, in a seven year period, so that each seven years we are literally, physically, not the same person we were. I don't know if this is true or not, but if so, it would make sense to me, for during those seven years after he died (although the frequency of grief attacks lessened over that time), the loss felt almost cellular.
Too, my friends who practice astrology tell me that there is a seven-year Saturn cycle. Saturn, metaphorically, symbolizes a process of learning through restriction; as the planet is "ringed" and contained, so the image goes, so we are sometimes bound, encircled by chains, of time, loss, restriction. (By contrast, Jupiter symbolizes learning through joy and growth, not restriction.)
And of course there's the apocryphal "seven year itch."
So is there something about seven years, bearing in mind the generalizations about grief and "how long it takes" are generally odious?
At any rate, I know seven was a substantive pivot point; like the winter solstice, in my heart I began moving back towards the light again.
Tags: cycles, death, grief, grieving, joy, length, loving, of, solstice, time
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sam Oliver on -
Thank You for this post. There is much wisdom in it.
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Permalink Reply by Anne on -
Hi
I couldnt agree more with you on the seven years. In one week' time it will be the seven year anniversary for my husband. This year has indeed been different and it has often come to me about the seven since I read your post some time ago. It is hard to explain but it is like more of an acceptance around this time.
Many, many thanks for writing this
Anne
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Permalink Reply by Rev Musa Ndiema on -
loving dear, com and meeth me in kenya for you. joy and shea my heart to you daer , call me +724298247
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Permalink Reply by Rev Musa Ndiema on
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Dear Sister,
Sorry my sister,for losing your husband. I want to assure you that all things working together for good for those loving the Lord and are called according to his purpose. There is a way ahead of you. Do not struggle for this, your life is in the hands of God. As you continue serving the Lord, He will answer your needs. Please can you assure me if you will be visiting me next year. I have so much that we can share together as you come. You are blessed and you are strong in the Lord, nothing can shake you from the faith, God has expanded your territories.
God bless you
Yours Brother in Lord.
Musa
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Permalink Reply by Anne on
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Dear Brother in the Lord
Thank you so much for sharing. It helps to know that others care.
Which part of Kenya are you living in. Our church works with Pastor Peter Karangu in Turkana, Samburu and Tharaka. http://www.sonshineclub.co.uk/
With my family I will not be going to Kenya. Thank you for your welcome.
Anne
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Permalink Reply by erien johnson on -
Seven is a spiritual number-a number when all probabilities, possibilities and potentiality take shape and form. I have noticed in my own life a seven year cycle.
Over that period, change occurs, as you suggested, on a cellular (physical level), mental, and finally, spiritual.
We grow into the experience and gain insights which takes us to the next level, the next challenges, the next cycle. And, we are never the same. We are better, wiser and hopefully closer to realizing our purpose.
Some of us choose the hard way--but eventually, we all get there, somehow.
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Permalink Reply by Serena Ellis on
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I feel so sorry for loss of your husband. Its is really a nice post and it helps to makes us strong person. I think you struggled in these seven years and you had really tough time in these years. He was very important for you and Its difficult to forget him. You should join a grief counseling for heal your pain.
I just pray to God for relief your pain. My condolences for you.
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
condolence message
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Permalink Reply by debby on
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Oh! very sorry! The pain of a spousal death is very serious and eternal. You please now try to forget it for the sake of your health, please alway try to see forward, the right way to go for you ! thanks ! sympathy words
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